托福獨(dú)立寫作怎樣才能豐富自己的論證？

 主要重點(diǎn)考察的是學(xué)生的審題能力、邏輯思維能力、文章內(nèi)容豐富性以及對英語運(yùn)用的熟練度。其中對于論點(diǎn)的論證環(huán)節(jié)，是很多考生所欠缺的。沒有足夠的論證以支持自己的論點(diǎn)，好比一個(gè)枯瘦如柴的人，這樣的文章在閱卷老師那里是很難那到高分的。下面我們就和大家聊聊如何把的文章論證寫豐滿，從而取得高成績。

首先讓我們先看一段學(xué)生的習(xí)作，題目為：

Schools should be more focused on improving facilities(libraries, computers, or labs) for students than on hiring famous teachers.（學(xué)校應(yīng)該更加注重改善學(xué)生的設(shè)施（圖書館、計(jì)算機(jī)、實(shí)驗(yàn)室），而不是聘請教師。）

以下是學(xué)生的論證環(huán)節(jié)：

Moreover, famous teachers can not only bring experiences and methods but also a celebrity effect which would attract more intelligent and genius teachers and students to university, which will be beneficial to the fame and rank of it. For instance, there is a tendency that universities around the world are battling for well-known and talented scientists in every area. Apart from what I said above, some implicit advantages cannot be exposed casually but rather an in-depth way to exist.

本來本段例證是為了具體解釋說明topic sentence（主題句）中的分論點(diǎn)，但為什么看完例證還是覺得晦澀難懂呢？火眼金睛的你能否發(fā)現(xiàn)當(dāng)中存在的問題呢？

下面我們就來為大家一一拆解。

問題1：大學(xué)擁有famous teachers（教師）的優(yōu)點(diǎn)之一，是利用名人效應(yīng)吸引更多有聰明才智的同學(xué)和老師，從而有利于提高學(xué)校的名氣和排名。為什么會有這種效果？在接下來的論證中我們沒有讀出具體的解釋，同為中國人我們看了尚且有不知所云的感受，何況是要評判我們作文的考官呢？徹底看暈了！究其原因，例證的部分不夠具體，也就是沒有解釋清楚。

問題2：Apart from what I said above, some implicit advantages cannot be exposed casually but rather an in-depth way to exist. 這句字面意思是說：除此之外，一些潛在的（暗含的）優(yōu)點(diǎn)不能輕易說出，而是以更深刻的方式存在。這是老外最忌諱的語言，潛在的優(yōu)點(diǎn)到底是什么？什么又是更深刻的方式？一定要明白告知，才稱得上論證具體。

中國人喜歡表達(dá)含蓄內(nèi)斂，但在托福獨(dú)立寫作中，同學(xué)們一定切記：含蓄內(nèi)斂的風(fēng)格要收起來，因?yàn)槔贤獠恍蕾p，我們要做到表達(dá)要清晰具體。舉個(gè)簡單的小例子，你要解釋一個(gè)人漂亮，那么不能總籠統(tǒng)地說她的確漂亮，而是要具體分成幾個(gè)層次說，比如：眼睛漂亮，身材好，心地善良。為何心地善良，如她經(jīng)常幫互助同學(xué)解決學(xué)習(xí)中的難題等。

剛剛那一段我們做一下修改，同學(xué)們看了心里是否有煥然一新的感覺呢？

Moreover, famous teachers can bring about a celebrity effect which will attract more students to enter the university for pursuing their academic goals. For instance, by employing a teacher whose special concentration is in accounting, a university is able to publicize its accounting department by introducing one of the famous professors and his or her professional accomplishment and unique teaching method.  Compared with abstract theories in accounting field from books in the library,  a famous professor’s  explanation in class and guidance after class is definitely more attractive to students who want to learn something in this specific academic field. Normally, having famous professors is taken for granted as an important factor in ranking universities. Therefore, in the long run, it will be beneficial to the fame and ranking of  the university. 

文章修改總結(jié)：我們看一下修改完的段落為什么比之前的表達(dá)更清楚。其中pursuing their academic goals,  accounting,  professional accomplishment, guidance, teaching method 等都是具體的詞，改過之后，這段的論證更加清晰具體了。

中同學(xué)們經(jīng)常遇到的問題是表達(dá)太過干癟，不能用具體豐富，形象生動的論證來支撐自己的觀點(diǎn)，亦或是雖然主體段寫了很多，但是沒有展開與topic sentence 相關(guān)的論證。我們一定要謹(jǐn)記一點(diǎn)：主體段一定要展開具體的論證，把例子解釋清楚，把道理說明白。